Motherhood is hard enough without judgement from others who don’t know the whole story.
-Sarah Addison Allen
Judgment and criticism are the worst, especially when they’re targeted towards us as parents. You may also be carrying a lot of inner judgment and criticism in parenthood as well. So, what can we do about this in our own lives? First, start by paying attention to these patterns and how they show up in your life. Therapy can also be a helpful place to work on this for many people. Ideally, you want to eventually get to a place where you can stop letting other people’s issues trigger your own. With self-criticism and self-judgment, often we’re first working towards accepting our imperfect selves and then hopefully moving towards self-compassion.
Read on for some short quick tips on some new mom areas that may involve inner and outer judgment and criticism, such as during the baby blues, when your baby isn’t meeting milestones, and grief and loss during the early days of motherhood.
The baby blues may show up because of:
- Hormonal changes
- Stress in the home
- Financial worries
- Lack of sleep
- Feeling lonely and isolated
- Health issues
- Transitioning to your new mom role
What else would you add here?
When baby isn’t meeting milestones you may feel:
- Sad
- Misunderstood
- Left out
- Disconnected from others
- Confused
- Unsupported
- Judged
- Grief and loss
- Angry and frustrated
- Anxious
- Lonely and isolated
What else would you add to this list?
Becoming a mom can bring up feelings of grief with:
- Expectations not matching reality
- Relationship changes
- The birth not going as expected
- Sleep changes
- Breastfeeding being difficult
- Lack of alone time
- Physical body changes
- Career changes
- Friendship changes
- No time for self-care
What else are you grieving during this time in your own life?
If you’re struggling with judgment and criticism in motherhood right now, know that you’re not alone. This is very common, both internally and externally. If you could use more help and support right, please reach out to your doctor or therapist in your area. I’m sending lots of love and compassion your way!
