Emotional regulation flows naturally from being in the presence of someone we trust.
– Bonnie Badenoch
It’s been many years since I’ve been pregnant, but I can still remember the days when I was exhausted to the bone, and the days when I felt good and energized, like I could take on the world. Pregnancy has a way of making your energy feel like it’s on loan. Some days it’s abundant, and other days it seems to disappear before lunchtime, no matter how much sleep you got the night before.
If you’re pregnant right now, you’re probably noticing this too. Your body is doing enormous work, growing a whole new human, and that work touches every part of you, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It makes sense that some things will fill your tank while others quietly drain it.
Learning to notice the difference between what gives you energy and what takes it away is one of the most useful skills you can build during this season. It’s not about being perfect or avoiding every energy taker on this list. It’s about becoming aware, so you can make small, intentional choices that support you and your growing baby.
Why Energy Awareness Matters So Much Right Now
During pregnancy, your nervous system is working overtime. Hormones are shifting, your body is changing week to week, and your mind is often racing between excitement, worry, and everything in between. That Bonnie Badenoch quote at the top of this post captures something important. Emotional regulation happens most easily when we feel safe and connected to people we trust.
That means the people around you, the environment you’re in, and the habits you keep all play a role in how regulated or dysregulated you feel from day to day. When you’re aware of your energy givers and takers, you’re better equipped to protect your peace during a time when your peace matters more than ever.
Energy Givers During Pregnancy
These are the things that tend to fill your cup rather than empty it. See if any of these resonate with your own experience.
- Self-care
- Sunny days
- Light exercise
- Helping others
- Staying hydrated
- Emotional regulation
- Getting enough sleep
- Time for rest and relaxation
- Emotionally healthy people
- Setting boundaries around electronics
- Emotionally connecting with loved ones
Notice how many of these are simple, everyday things. A sunny walk around the block. A glass of water within reach. A short phone call with someone who makes you feel understood. None of these require a big production or a lot of extra time. They just require a little intention.
Emotionally healthy people deserve special mention here. Surrounding yourself with people who can hold space for your feelings, who don’t dismiss your worries or minimize your excitement, makes a real difference in how supported you feel throughout pregnancy. The same goes for emotionally connecting with loved ones. A few minutes of genuine, present conversation can shift your whole mood.
Setting boundaries around electronics might feel like an odd one to include, but so much of what we scroll through can leave us feeling more anxious or more comparison prone, especially during pregnancy when it’s easy to fall into a spiral of researching symptoms or comparing your body and experience to others online. A boundary here, even a small one, can protect your energy in ways you might not expect.
Energy Takers During Pregnancy
Just as there are things that give you energy, there are things that tend to take it away. These are worth watching for, not so you can avoid them entirely, but so you can notice when they’re showing up and respond with a little more care for yourself.
- No self-care
- Toxic people
- Dehydration
- Cloudy days
- No downtime
- Unhealthy foods
- Lack of movement
- Heightened emotions
- Emotional disconnection
- Not getting enough sleep
- Focusing only on yourself
- Too much time on electronics
Toxic people and emotional disconnection tend to be some of the heaviest energy takers on this list. Pregnancy can make you more sensitive to relationships that don’t feel safe or reciprocal. If someone in your life consistently leaves you feeling drained, criticized, or unseen, it’s worth paying attention to that pattern right now more than ever.
Dehydration and lack of movement might seem like small, physical things, but they have a real effect on your mood and energy levels too. Your body needs more water and more gentle movement during pregnancy, and when those needs go unmet, it shows up as fatigue and irritability more often than you might expect.
Heightened emotions are also worth naming here, not because feeling your feelings is a bad thing, but because pregnancy hormones can intensify emotional reactions in ways that catch you off guard. Recognizing this pattern for what it is, a natural part of pregnancy, can help take some of the self-judgment out of it.
What to Do When You’re Feeling Drained
Some days, no matter how aware you are of your energy givers and takers, you’re going to feel completely depleted. That’s a normal part of pregnancy, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. What matters is having a few go-to self-care practices ready for those moments.
Here are some ideas to try when you’re feeling drained during pregnancy:
- Journal
- Read a book
- Rest your body
- Talk to a therapist
- Connect with loved ones
- Watch your favorite show
- Spend time with your pets
- Snuggle under a soft blanket
- Listen to a guided meditation
- Do some prenatal yoga stretches
Journaling can be a simple way to process the swirl of thoughts and feelings that come with pregnancy, even just a few lines at the end of the day. Talking to a therapist offers a similar kind of release, but with the added benefit of professional support and a trusted space to work through anything that feels too big to carry alone.
Spending time with your pets or snuggling under a soft blanket might sound small, but these little comforts often do more for your nervous system than we give them credit for. They signal safety to your body, which, as that opening quote reminds us, is exactly what allows emotional regulation to happen more naturally.
Prenatal yoga stretches and guided meditations are also worth having in your back pocket. Both are gentle enough to do even on your most tired days, and both help reconnect you to your body and your breath in a way that can ease some of the physical and emotional heaviness of pregnancy.
Building Your Own Energy Awareness
As you move through this list, notice which items stand out to you. Maybe you already know that toxic people drain you faster than almost anything else. Maybe you’re realizing you haven’t been drinking enough water, or that you’ve been spending more time on your phone than you’d like to admit.
There’s no need to overhaul everything at once. Pick one energy giver to lean into this week. Pick one energy taker to set a small boundary around. Small, consistent shifts tend to add up more than big, unsustainable changes ever could.
And on the days when your energy is low no matter what you try, be gentle with yourself. Pregnancy asks a lot of you, and rest is not something you need to earn.
If you find that heightened emotions, emotional disconnection, or feelings of being drained are becoming a regular part of your pregnancy experience rather than an occasional one, it may help to talk with your doctor, midwife, or a perinatal mental health professional. You don’t have to navigate this season alone, and support is available whenever you’re ready for it.