When we fully accept the reality that we are imperfect human beings, prone to make mistakes and struggle, our hearts naturally begin to soften.
-Kristin Neff
Wow has it been a day! Some ups and downs around if I’m doing enough versus asking for too much from others. Also, a lot of busyness and noise, which often means I’m trying to avoid something I’m not wanting to see or deal with directly in my own life.
It’s when I have trouble being in the quiet with just myself, that it’s actually a sign I really need to enter into this space of discomfort in the quiet. This is so often where the work is, isn’t it? It’s in this discomfort where growth and maturity happens.
And, per usual, there seems to usually be perfectionism that loves to show up in this space as well. As a “recovering” perfectionist, this seems to be an ongoing struggle in life. It’s often surrounding being enough right here and now, versus the internal and external stressors around being more and doing more, but at the same time, not taking up too much space either. Oh, the perils of being a woman living this day and age, right? So much push and pull in one direction or another, when so often we simply need to stop and be in the quiet within ourselves.
Following these themes, here’s what’s to come in this blog: where feeling like you’re too much or not enough may stem from, what deeper issues underneath busyness may include, and wrapping up with ways to quiet down perfectionism. Enjoy!
Feeling like you’re too much or not enough may stem from:
- Gender roles in society
- Past trauma
- Something that was modeled by your parents
- Not feeling like you’re worthy and enough at your core
- Narcissistic parent who are very self-centered and self-absorbed
- A mental health issue like anxiety, depression, grief, etc.
- Perfectionism
- Familial roles
- Struggles with self-love and not feeling good about yourself from the inside out
What else would you add here?
Deeper issues underneath busyness may include:
- Not feeling like you’re worthy or like you’re enough
- Feelings you’re trying to numb
- Not feeling close to your kids emotionally
- Disconnection from others
- Relationship problems
- No work-life balance and harmony
- No clear boundaries with others
- Unfulfilled needs in life
- Unfulfilled wants in life
- Grief and loss
What else would you add to this list?
Ways to quiet down perfectionism:
- Prioritize self-care and taking good care of you day in and day out
- Talk to a counselor or therapist near you
- Take breaks throughout your day
- Find a hobby that’s fulfilling and that you love
- Set clear boundaries with others
- Emotionally connect with others
What else helps you to quiet down perfectionism in your own life?
If you’re struggling right now with perfectionism, know that you’re not alone. Many of us understand this struggle personally or are currently in it ourselves. If you could use more help and support, please reach out to your doctor or a therapist in your area (if you don’t already have one). Know that I’m thinking of you and sending lots of love and compassion your way!
