The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.
-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
My beloved dad died eight years ago today, unexpectedly, right as the holiday season was starting. In some ways I can’t believe it’s already been eight years, and in other ways it still feels like I got the call about his death just now. So, the holidays always feel a little bittersweet as I grow older, and the losses in my own life grow. While I’m absolutely excited to spend the holidays this year with my husband and two teens, and am also able to acknowledge the people who are no longer with us. I love the term bittersweet, because it so often and so beautifully describes the truth in any given moment in our lives, that all feelings are valid and welcome, even seemingly opposing feelings. Also, if you’re grieving this holiday season, please know that you’re not alone, and that many of us are grieving the loss of our loved ones too.
Here are the topics I’ll be briefly covering in this blog: common symptoms of grief around the holidays, how grief may show up around the holidays, and ending with holiday self-care ideas to help with grief symptoms. Please read on for this brief and hopefully helpful information!
Common symptoms of grief around the holidays:
- Anger
- Crying
- Sadness
- Emptiness
- Loneliness
- Exhaustion
- Feeling like a fog is covering you
- Feeling disconnected from others
What other symptoms of grief around the holidays would you add here?
How grief may show up around the holidays:
- Memories being made without your loved one/s
- Fear the heaviness will always be here
- Family traditions feeling different
- Feeling disconnected from others
- Desperately missing a loved one/s
What else would you add here around how grief may show up around the holidays?
Holiday self-care ideas to help with grief symptoms:
- Journal and write about the depth of your grief- all the things you feel like you can’t share with other people or the things you don’t feel like others would really understand
- Mediate- listen to a guided meditation or set a timer and do a quiet one
- Be out in nature as much as possible if it has a healing element for you
- Talk to a therapist trained in grief
- Focus on mindfulness and being present and aware of your five senses
- Make time for exercise or gentle stretching
- Spend time with loved ones
- Share stories about your loved one/s and use their name/s
What other self-care ideas help you with your own holiday grief symptoms?
If you’re experiencing grief around the holiday season, know that you’re not alone. Many of us are grieving the loss of loved ones this time of year. If you need more help and support, please reach out to your medical doctor or a therapist in your area (if you don’t already have one of your own). Know that I’m thinking of you, and sending lots of love and support your way!
