Seriously, eat the cookie. Watch the movie. Read the book. Not everything you do has to be about improving your health, knowledge, your job, or your body. It’s OK to just be.
-Whitney Goodman
I like to think of toxic positivity as a coping strategy. Yes, it can be highly annoying to be on the receiving end of toxic positivity from others. But, if we can think of it in terms of other people’s struggles, maybe stemming from a role they played within their family like being the “golden child,” then it makes it easier to not take this behavior too personally in our everyday lives. That being said, it’s helpful to know what we’re also working towards when we’re trying to lower toxic positivity. Often, we’re working towards feeling more comfortable being vulnerability with others. What do you think? Does this resonate with you? Feel scary, especially if you’re using toxic positivity as a coping strategy in your own life?
Please read on for some short, quick tips about: toxic positivity traits, things healthy positivity may bring into your life, and wrapping up with self-care to help with toxic positivity.
Toxic Positivity is often:
- Insincere
- Lacking depth
- Lonely & isolating
- Denial & avoidance based
- Based in unmet expectations
- Lacking truth and transparency
- A way to create emotional distance
- A way to avoid unwanted feelings & emotions
- A fear-based response to a lack of control in life
- Not wanting to accept what’s right in front of you
What else would you add to this list?
Healthy positivity may bring:
- More joy, fun and laughter into your life!
- Space for true feelings and emotions
- Emotional connection with others
- Hope that things will get better
- Self-trust that all will be well
- Truth and transparency
- Deeper conversations
- Feelings of peace
- A dose of reality
- Healing
What else would you add here?
Here are some self-care ideas to help with toxic positivity:
- Going to therapy
- Using imagery
- Journaling
- Scheduling some alone time
- Connecting with others
- Walking, especially outdoors
- Reading
- Allowing yourself to feel your feelings
- Snuggling with a loved one, your pet or yourself
- Meditating
What other self-care ideas help you with toxic positivity?
If you, or someone you know, is using toxic positivity as a coping strategy, know that you’re not alone. This is very common. If you could use more help or support right now, please reach out to your doctor or a therapist in your area. Know that I’m thinking of you and sending lots of love and compassion your way.
