Children do not need us to shape them; they need us to respond to who they are.
-Naomi Aldort
I feel like I’ve been on all sides of motherhood. I took a maternity leave with my first child, explored local daycares, planned to go back to work at the end of my maternity leave, and then decided the best choice for myself, my child and my family was actually to stay home with her. I made the same choice to stay at home after my son was born.
However, when they were both still young, I decided that going back to working outside of the home was the next right step for me and my family. These choices are never easy, and may bring some surprises, as they did me, along the way.
Read on for some short, quick information on: common struggles during maternity leave (also known as the 4th trimester), common returning to work struggles (also known as the 5th trimester) and wrapping up with some common stay-at-home mom struggles.
Common struggles during maternity leave (also known as the 4th trimester)
- Learning to function on very little sleep
- Feeling like it’s ground hog day with everyday looking and feeling like the day before
- Not feeling connected to your baby, which may also be a possible sign of postpartum depression
- Not feeling connected to your partner, which is very common during postpartum
What else would you add here?
Common struggles after returning to work (also known as the 5th trimester)
- Someone else caring for your baby
- Commuting to and from work if you don’t have a work from home position
- Missing your baby while you’re working
- Dealing with childcare issues
- Creating a new division of labor at home with your partner
What else would you add to this list?
Common stay-at-home mom struggles:
- Grief over things you will miss about your job
- Missing your coworkers
- Fear you may regret this change
- Feeling like there’s not a division of labor at home
- No time for self-care
- Financial worries without your second income
Is there anything missing from this list?
If you’re struggling right now, know that you’re not alone. Deciding to work inside or outside of the home is a very big, often life-changing, decision. If you could use more help and support, please reach out to your doctor or a therapist in your area. Know that I’m thinking of you and sending lots of love and compassion your way!
