Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.
-Carroll Bryant
My husband and I just celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary, so this quote spoke to me today. There’s a saying that relationships are hard work, and I definitely agree with that. A healthy relationship takes both people putting in the work, day in and day out. Some days, weeks, months and even years are definitely better than others, but it’s a commitment to one another to go the distance together.
Here’s what’s to come in this blog: Things emotionally mature relationship partners may do, things that emotionally immature partners may do, and wrapping up with self-care for when you’re dealing with difficult people. I hope that information is helpful to you and your relationship.
Emotionally mature partners often:
- Take responsibility for their actions and behaviors
- Have deep and meaningful discussions with others
- Stay calm, centered and grounded within themselves, even with chaos all around them
- Engage in hard conversations
- Do their own work in therapy
- Give back to their partners
- Heal their past trauma
- Prioritize self-care daily
- Self-reflect
- Fight fair during arguments
What else would you add here?
Emotionally immature partners might:
- Not make time and space for self-reflection
- Be very self-centered
- Avoid hard conversations
- Refuse to do their own work in therapy
- Be stuck in unresolved trauma
- Blame you and others for their problems
- Name call and not fight fair during arguments
- Keep conversation on a surface level only
- Be overly reactive and throw adult tantrums
- Drain your energy because of their neediness
What else would you add to this list?
Self-care ideas for when you’re dealing with difficult people:
- Create time and space to feel your feelings
- Move your body- exercise, dance, stretch, etc.
- Come up with a great daily mantra like, “you’ve got this” or “you are worthy” or “be still”
- Practice the pause before reacting or saying/doing something you may regret
- Give yourself a hug
- Go to therapy and work through you’re feeling around this issue
- Listen to music- a great song can be oh so helpful!
- Practice mindfulness and being in the present moment
- Build inner muscle strength through weight lifting
- Focus on your breath, inhale/exhale, meditate, listen to a guided meditation, etc.
What other types of self-care help you when you’re dealing with difficult people in your own life?
If you’re struggling right now in your relationship, know that you’re not alone. Many of us are struggling right now, as all relationships have their ups and their downs. If you could use more help and support in your life today, please reach out to your doctor or a therapist in your area (if you don’t already have to one). Know that I’m thinking of you and sending lots of love and support your ways!
