Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.
-Helen Keller
It’s been a good day. Lots of sunshine. Lots of good flow to my day. Lots of emotional connection to others. Lots of downtime, rest and relaxation as well. Today, I felt positive and optimistic about the present and the future. Real, healthy positivity.
Toxic positivity is so different. It’s when people try to mask the hurt and pain in their lives by sugar coating it. It’s when grief and trauma want to be addressed, but are instead stuffed down and covered with rose colored glasses. It’s when someone’s nonverbals aren’t matching up with what they are saying verbally. It’s confusing. It’s often passive aggressive. It’s not being transparent. It’s being hidden.
So, what do you do when you’re stuck in a cycle of toxic positivity? Pause. See if you can name how you’re really feeling in the moment. Then, give yourself time and space to feel these feelings, process them and release them. Therapy, per usual, can also be incredibly helpful here too!
Here’s what’s to come in this blog: what healthy positivity may bring into your life, what toxic positivity is, and wrapping up with ways to prioritize wellness from the inside out. Enjoy!
Here are some things healthy positivity may bring into your life:
- More joy, fun and laughter into your daily life
- Space to feel your true feelings and emotions
- Emotional connection with others
- Hope that things will get better in the future if you’re currently going through a hard time
- Self-trust that all will be well and an inner knowing that you can truly rely on yourself
- Truth telling and transparency with others
- Deeper conversations with other in your life
- Feelings of internal peace and internal calm
- A dose of reality in your everyday life
- Healing from the inside out
What else would you add to this list?
Toxic positivity is often:
- Insincere
- Lacking depth
- Lonely and isolating
- Denial and avoidance based
- Based in unmet expectations
- Lacking truth and transparency with others
- A way to create emotional distance in your life
- A way to avoid unwanted feelings and emotions
- A fear-based response to a lack of control in your life
- Not wanting to accept what’s right in front of you
What else would you add here?
Ways to prioritize wellness from the inside out:
- Focus on your physical wellbeing
- Find intellectual stimulation through reading, conversations, etc.
- Have a spiritual practice, if that fits with how you do life
- Set boundaries to ensure your emotional safety and security
- Keep stress as low as possible
- Be your own creative, authentic self
- Connect with family and friends socially
- Establish financial stability for the family as a whole
- Practice work life balance, inside and outside of the home
What other ways to prioritize wellness from the inside out work for you?
If you’re struggling right now, know that you’re not alone. Many of us are going through hard times in our lives today. If you could use more help and support, please reach out to your doctor or a therapist in your area (if you don’t already have one). Know that I’m thinking of you, and sending lots of love and support your way!
