We seek connection, predictability, and dependability to root us firmly in place. But we also have a need for change, for the unexpected, for transcendence.
-Esther Perel
Relationships are hard work! How’s your relationship with your partner these days? With school starting next week here, we’re all trying to get as organized as possible. This can definitely bring about some relationship stressors. I’m the planner and organizer of the family, and sometime it can feel like I’m trying to move mountains to get things that need to be done, done in a timely manner. And one of my pet peeves, leaving things until the last minute. No thank you!
One of the techniques I love from Brene Brown is to take stock of your own energy level, and then share it with your partner. Then, have your partner do the same for you. It would sound something like this, out of 100, I’m currently at 30 percent, how about you? Then you can see if one or both of you have the energy for any given task, or if one or both of you need time to rest and recharge. What do you think? Is this something you might want to try in your own relationship?
Here’s what’s to come in this blog: traits of emotionally unsafe relationships, traits of emotionally safe relationships, and wrapping up with self-care for emotional disconnection in relationships.
Emotionally unsafe relationships may include:
- Jealousy
- Criticism
- Yelling and arguing
- A harsh tone
- Intentionally trying to hurt the other people’s feelings
- Passive aggressive behavior
- Judgment
- Disconnection
- Distrust
- Name calling
- Negativity and pessimism
- Ignoring your partner
- A lack of vulnerability, openness and honesty
What else would you add here?
Emotionally safe relationships include:
- Understanding
- Empathy
- No judgment
- Active listening
- Trust
- Openness, honesty and vulnerability
- Love
- Support
- Compassion
- No criticism
- A gentle tone
- Eye contact
- Connection
- Optimism and positivity
What else would you add to this list?
Self-care for emotional disconnection in relationship:
- Book a therapy session
- Listen to your favorite music
- Connect with family and friends
- Watch a show
- Meditate
- Read
- Write it down in a journal
- Practice mindfulness
- Go for a walk outside
What other self-care ideas would you add to this list?
If you’re struggling in life right now, know that you’re not alone. Any if you’re preparing for back to school, this is often a special kind of stress and struggle for most of us. If you could use more help and support, please reach out to your doctor or a therapist in your area. Know that I’m thinking of you and sending lot of love and compassion your way!
