After all those years as a woman hearing, “not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not that enough,” almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, “I am enough.”
– Anna Quindlen
There are so many ways that the world and the people around us can make us feel like we don’t matter, especially as women. It might be the way they treat you, or an underlying lack of respect for you and your well-being.
You may also have a mean and loud inner critic in your head. An inner critic who makes you feel like you don’t matter by the constant commentary in your head. Remember, your thoughts don’t equal your truth.
This is where it’s so important to learn how to cultivate a kind and compassionate inner voice and inner world to remind you that regardless of what others say or what your inner voice is saying to you, you absolutely matter in this world right here and now!
Here’s what to come in this blog: ways people can make you feel like you don’t matter, why you may feel like you don’t matter internally, and wrapping up with self-care to help stabilize self-worth and self-love. I hope this information is helpful to you!
Ways people can make you feel like you don’t matter:
- Not trusting you, even though you haven’t done anything untrustworthy
- Cancelling plans that you’ve made together
- Not valuing your time
- Purposely leaving you out of plans or conversations
- Not respecting your boundaries
- Saying disrespectful things to you
- Not remembering important dates like birthdays and anniversaries
- Judging and criticizing your life choices
- Not remembering important conversations you’ve had with one another
What else would you add here?
Why you may feel like you don’t matter internally:
- You don’t prioritize what’s most important to you and your life
- You feel emotionally disconnected from others
- You put other people’s wants and needs above your own
- You struggle with feelings of low self-value
- You judge your choices and decisions
- You struggle with self-love
- Your inner critic is mean and loud
- You have a mental health issue you’re dealing with such as depression, anxiety, grief, etc.
What else would you add to this list?
Self-care ideas to help stabilize self-worth and self-love:
- Go to therapy and process your feelings and emotions
- Journal about how you’re doing
- Meditate- quiet or guided
- Exercise- go for a walk, lift weights, practice yoga, do some gentle stretches, etc.
- Connect with friends and loved ones
- Allow yourself time and space to feel your feelings
- Practice mindfulness and focus on your five senses
- Come up with a great mantra like “I am worthy” or “I am enough”
- Spend time with your pets
- Read a great book to help you feel centered and grounded within yourself
What other self-care ideas help you to stabilize self-worth and self-love?
If you’re struggling right now, know that you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with feeling like we matter. If you could use more help and support, please reach out to your doctor or a therapist in your area (if you don’t already have one). I’m sending lots of love and compassion your way!
