
You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.
-Brene Brown
In this blog, I want to provide information on the current research surrounding emotional connection and creating healthy relationships in our lives. Enjoy!
Brene Brown
Social scientist Brene Brown has done extensive research in the areas of shame, worthiness, vulnerability and courage.
- She found that being vulnerable with others can help you to feel more deeply connected to them.
Asking for help and support from your partner can feel hard at times, but being vulnerable in this area may also help you feel more emotionally connected to one another. (www.brenebrown.com)
Gary Chapman:
Gary Chapman wrote a great relationship book call, “The Five Love Languages” which include:
- Words of affirmation
- Gifts
- Acts of service
- Quality time together
- Physical touch
Based on this list, what would you say your love language is? What about your partner’s love language?
Often our love languages are different from our partners. If this is the case, you’ll need to show love for you partner by doing things for them that don’t fit with your own personal love language. Check out his book to take the love language test. (www.5lovelanguages.com)
The Gottman Institute:
The Gottman Institute has done extensive research on marriage. They have come up with four areas that may signal your relationship is in trouble (The four horsemen), as well as their antidotes and what you can do to change these patterns and create a healthier marriage/relationship.
Four horsemen and their antidotes:
- Criticism to Gentle startup
- Contempt to Build a culture of appreciation
- Defensiveness to Take responsibility
- Stonewalling to Physiological self-soothing
These dynamics can be hard to talk about and address, but the ultimate goal is to make your marriage/relationship with your partner stronger, healthier and more connected. So, that was just a quick rundown of these concepts, but please check out their website for more detailed information. (www.gottman.com)
Finally, don’t forget about yourself and the importance of self-care when emotions are running high!