We are deeply sensitive to one another’s presence.
-Bonnie Badenoch
It can be really hard to be open, honest and vulnerable with others, even in our closest relationships. Why is this so often the case? We may be scared of being judged by others, or of not feeling understood by them, or even that we’ll feel more alone, not less, after sharing our whole selves with them, the good, the bad and the ugly…
So, what do emotionally safe relationships include?
Love
Empathy
Compassion
Understanding
Support
No judgment
No criticism
Active listening, and a desire to really hear your partner
Kindness
A gentle tone
Trust
Connection
Openness, honesty and vulnerability
Optimism and positivity
Eye contact
What else would you add here?
Emotionally unsafe relationships often include:
Dislike, jealousy or even hate
Distrust
Criticism
Judgment
Yelling and arguing
Name calling
Intentionally trying to hurt the other person’s feelings
A harsh tone
Passive aggressive statements and behavior
A lack of vulnerability, openness and honesty
Not feeling seen, heard and understood
Not feeling like you matter
A mean undercurrent
Narcissism
Negativity and pessimism
Disconnection
Distraction or ignoring your partner
What else would you add to this list?
Self-care for when you feel emotionally disconnected from your partner:
Therapy
Journaling
Connecting with family and friend who love you
Listening to your favorite music
Go for a walk
Meditate
Focus on mindfulness
Watch your favorite show
Read a great book
What else is helpful to you when you feel emotionally disconnected from your partner?
Remember, all relationships have their ups and downs. However, if you’re seeing a consistent negative pattern in yours, this may be a sign that individual or couples counseling could be helpful. I’m sending lots of love and support your ways as you navigate the emotional highs and lows in your own relationship.
