The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst.

-Marge Kennedy

What type of family life would you like to create? It’s important to start thinking about this early, even when you’re in the postpartum period and your baby is still young. The decisions you make today will influence what happens in the future.

Let’s start with some traits often found in healthy families:

1. Caring and compassion for all family members
2. Support during hard life events
3. Empathy when a family member is struggling
4. Emotional connection between family members
5. Room for autonomy and togetherness
6. Laughter and shared humor
7. Good boundaries
8. Structure, schedules and consequences that are clearly stated
9. Space for self-expression, creativity and differences
10. Spending quality time together and enjoying each other’s company

Here are some common family issues to look out for:

1. Frequent arguing and disrespect between family members
2. A lack of empathy, validation and support for each other
3. Emotional disconnection from one another
4. Autonomy or togetherness, without space for both
5. A lack of laughter and shared humor
6. Unclear boundaries between family members
7. No sense of structure, scheduling and unclear behavioral consequences
8. Family members who don’t feel like their voice or opinion matters in the family
9. No space for differences between family members
10. A lack of quality time together

So, how can you create an emotionally healthy family environment? Here are some ideas:

1. Schedule a weekly family meeting where all voices in the family are heard and understood
2. Involve older kids in the making of the family schedule, bedtime routines, consequences for negative behaviors, etc.
3. Attend important events for all family members
4. Empathize and validate feelings
5. Allow space for emotions for all family members
6. Keep emotional reactivity low, and find coping strategies to help all family members accomplish this feat
7. Spend quality time together, enjoying activities that bring you all joy
8. Try new things, explore as a family, and have new family adventure whenever possible
9. Go to therapy to learn more about any unhealthy family patterns, and to learn ways to break these patterns
10. Know that each and every member brings value to your family, and find ways to embrace this, in hard times as well as the good ones

When your baby is young, you can start some of these activities with your partner, and then your kid/s can participate as they get older and it’s more age appropriate for them.

Therapy