When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.
-Shannon L. Alder
Do you ever struggle with feel like you’re not enough? What about feeling like you’re too much? These are two common struggles that many women experience especially during times of transitions like becoming a mom, changing jobs, moving, etc. It’s the struggle around feeling like you take up too much space or minimize your importance to where to take up very little space in the world. It’s also important to know what kind of coping strategies you’re using to get through your current life struggles such as staying busy and distracted or trying to be perfect.
Feeling like you’re too much or not enough may stem from:
- Gender roles in society
- Past trauma
- Something that was modeled by one or both of your parents
- Narcissistic parents
- A mental health issue
- Perfectionism
- Familial roles
- Not feeling like you’re worthy and enough
- Struggles with self-love
What else would you add here?
If you’re using busyness as a coping strategy, some of the deeper issues underneath busyness may include:
- Relationship problems
- Unfilled needs
- No clear boundaries
- Not feeling close to your kids
- Not feeling worthy or like you’re enough
- No work-life balance
- Unfilled wants
- Grief and loss
- Disconnection from others
- Feelings you’re trying to numb
What else would you add to the above list?
If perfectionism is showing up loudly in your life right now, here are some ways to help quiet it down:
- Prioritize self-care
- Talk to a counselor
- Find a hobby that’s fulfilling
- Take breaks
- Emotionally connect with others
- Set clear boundaries
What else would you add to this list?
If you’re struggling with feeling like you’re too much or not enough, know that you’re not alone. Therapy can be a great place to explore these feelings to figure out where they are stemming from in your life. I’m sending lots of love and support your way!