The purpose of life is to live it,to taste experience to the utmost,
to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
How would you describe your current circumstances in motherhood? What parts are you enjoying? What parts do you find depleting? I think may of us enter motherhood hoping that the transition will be easy, and that being a mom will come naturally to us. But, for most of us, there’s a very steep learning curve, and even if you have more than one child, each one is so uniquely different that some things carry over from one child to the next, but often we’re honing our parenting skills at each and every stage with each and every kiddo. So, how can you find more meaning and purpose throughout motherhood?
Start with your own internal truths:
- Focus on the things that bring you joy in mom life.
- Look at the times to you feel centered, grounded and in the flow of life.
- Remind yourself of the things you’re good at and that you enjoy.
- Name some things that made you happy.
- Define your personal values and beliefs.
- Where in mom life do you feel most positive and optimistic right now?
- Describe what makes you unique.
- Focus on what fills you with energy.
- Think about where you can truly be yourself- where you feel, worthy, valued, loved, etc.
- Look at times when you feel connected to others.
Anything you’d add here?
Next, look at things that are currently holding you back from living the mom life you’ve always wanted:
- Struggles with self-doubt.
- Low self-esteem.
- Not feeling like you’re worthy enough to do what you want to do.
- Lack of support from others.
- Negativity and pessimism from yourself and others.
- Current struggles with anxiety, depression, grief and loss or another mental health issue.
- A lack of connection to those around you.
- Not having definitive values and belief systems.
- Trying to “play it safe” and not disrupt the status quo.
Did I forget anything?
Therapy can be a great place to work through some of the items listed above.
What are some ways to get past these roadblocks in mom life? Let’s use motherhood perfectionism as an example. First, it takes a lot of time, effort and hard work to undo perfectionism. A simplified version of this process may look like: starting from perfectionism you work on moving into self-acceptance and from self-acceptance you move towards self-compassion and self-love. It’s not an easy process to become a “recovering perfectionist,” but for most people it’s freeing to have the pressure to be perfect taken off of you.
I wish you all the best as you move towards finding more meaning and purpose throughout motherhood!