It starts when we decide to stop worrying about how our children’s appearance and achievements reflect on us and start focusing on how our unconditional love reflects on them.
-Rachel Macy Stafford
One of my favorite books is by Carol Dweck, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.” In this book, the author discussed in depth two mindset terms called: fixed mindset and growth mindset. This book definitely got me thinking about my own mindset, and areas where a fixed mindset tends to be more dominant versus when and where I can usually stay within a growth mindset. What are your thoughts on your own mindset patterns?
The following are some things I learned from Carol Dweck’s book regarding fixed and growth mindsets.
Fixed mindset traits may include:
- Black and white thinking patterns
- Negative thoughts
- Innate traits you’re born with (you’re either born smart or born dumb)
- Ignoring criticism and feedback from others
- Being externally motivated
- Feeling like a failure when life doesn’t go your way
- Feeling limited
- Avoiding challenges
- Pessimism
- Being performance based
What would you add to this list?
Growth mindset traits may include:
- Flexible thinking patterns
- Positive thoughts
- Being effort based
- Accepting of criticism and feedback from others as a way to improve yourself
- Being internally motivated
- Learning from your own failures as well as other people’s failures
- Feeling free
- Embracing challenges and persevering
- Optimism
- Being learning based
What would you add to this list?
So, do you tend to be more fixed minded or growth minded in your own life?
Here are some self-care ideas for when you need time for reflection in your life:
- Process with a therapist
- Listen to your favorite music
- Take a bath
- Do some yoga stretches
- Journal
- Go for a walk
- Meditate
- Connect with loved ones
What else would you add here?
On this journey to change your mindset in positive ways, be sure to watch out for times when you’re comparing your start here to someone else’s middle or end point. Remember, we all have to start somewhere, and you’re taking an important first step in your own journey. Also, know that this important internal mindset change will most likely positively impact not only you, but your family, your relationships with others, your career and so many other places in your life too. I’m sending lots of love and support your way as you move away from a fixed mindset and towards a growth mindset.
