If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.
Learning to forgive yourself and others is often easier said than done, on both the internal and external levels.
Forgiving yourself is often really difficult because we’re often so hard on ourselves. We think we should have known better. We beat ourselves up over mistakes that were made. Perfectionism rears its ugly head to remind us, yet again, that we’re not perfect, we’re not worthy, we don’t have value, we’re not enough…
Forgiving others can also be a huge struggle because the hurt and pain they caused in our lives can be oh so difficult to overcome. We may feel sad, angry, resentful, lonely and a myriad of other feelings towards this person or persons. And, before being able to move into forgiveness and healing, we often need A LOT of time and space to process, grieve and learn from what happened.
So, why is it so hard to find self-forgiveness within ourselves, and what internal barriers often show up here?
- High expectations
- Being hard on ourselves
- Caring too much about what other people think of us and our life choices
What else would you add here?
And, why is it so hard to forgive other people?
- Your feelings are hurt and you feel emotionally raw
- You’re angry or even filled with rage
- You’re dealing with pent up resentment
- You don’t want to be hurt again
- You need time and space to process your grief
- You feel sad, lonely and emotionally disconnected from others or even emotionally numb
What else would you add to this list?
Here are some self-care ideas to help you forgive yourself and others:
- Practice self-compassion
- Find an affirmation to help you through the hard times like, “you are loved” or “you are enough” or “you are worthy”
- Find a great therapist to work with moving forward
- Feel your feelings, even the ones that are uncomfortable and bring lots of discomfort
- Journal about how you’re really doing, and consider shredding the pages if it would be therapeutically helpful to you and your healing process
- Connect with loved ones who truly understand what you’re struggling with in your life
- Create a kind inner voice to offset your inner critic, and to remind you that everyone makes mistakes in life
What else would you add here that’s helped you forgive yourself and others?
Forgiving yourself and others is usually a long, hard road full of lots of ups and downs. Be kind and gentle with yourself on this journey. I’m sending lots of love and support your way as you move towards forgiving yourself and others.