There is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.
-Amanda Gorman
Positivity can be super helpful when you’re struggling with something big in life, but it’s also easy to take it too far. When positivity becomes a coping strategy during hard times, it can start out being really helpful and end up becoming unhealthy or even toxic. Toxic positivity is often based in denial and avoidance of reality and what’s going on right in front of you. Healthy positivity is often based in acceptance, reality and clearly seeing what’s going on right in front of you in life. Let’s dive into this topic further…
Toxic positivity is often:
- Based in denial and avoidance
- Not wanting to see and accept what’s right in front of you
- Doesn’t feel sincere to others
- A way to create emotional distance
- Surfacy and lacks depth
- A way to avoid unwanted feelings and emotions
- A fear-based response when there’s a lack of control in life
- Lacking truth and transparency
- Lonely and isolating
- Based in unmet expectations and wanting things to be a certain way in life
What else would you add here?
Healthy positivity may bring:
- Healing
- Emotional connection with others
- A good dose of reality
- Deeper conversations
- Space for true feelings and emotions
- Hope that things will get better
- Feelings of peace
- Truth and transparency
- More joy, fun and laughter into your life!
- Self-trust that all will be well, one way or another
What else would you add to this list?
Self-care to help with toxic positivity:
- Going to therapy
- Journaling about your struggles in life
- Allowing yourself to feel your true feelings- the good, the bad and the ugly
- Connecting with healthy people who have done their own work in therapy
- Spending time alone
- Exercising outside
- Reading and educating yourself on toxic positivity
- Mindfulness meditations to help you find your inner peace and calm
- Doing something comforting like snuggling under a blanket
- Imagery such as imaging intrusive thoughts gently floating away from you on a cloud in the sky
What else help you through toxic positivity (this can be your own or someone else’s toxic positivity)?
Dealing with toxic positivity in life isn’t easy- your own and/or someone else’s. Know that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling, and that toxic positivity is a common coping mechanism when people are in struggle in their own lives. I’m sending lots of love and compassion your way as you navigate the current stressors in your life.
