A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.
I’ve moved around a lot in my lifetime- a couple of times to new states in my childhood, and many times as an adult including two overseas moves. I’ve learned that loneliness is often a part life transitions, be that moves or job changes or having a baby or something else in life entirely. I’ve also learned that if we allow ourselves time and space to feel this difficult emotion and the discomfort that comes with it, we’ll usually feel better afterwards. So, let’s dive in and talk more about the loneliness in life that we all feel at times…
Loneliness in relationships may stem from:
- Working different hours than your partner
- Not being present with one another
- Criticism and judgment from the other person
- Not feeling loved and accepted for who you really are
- Your wants and needs not being fulfilled
- Your boundaries not being respected
- Being on different life paths
- Having trouble relating to each other
- Outside distractions like electronics, video games, TV, etc.
Not prioritizing spending quality time together
What else would you add here?
Loneliness in motherhood may stem from:
- Being in a different stage in life than family members and friends
- Being at home with young kids, especially if you’re a stay-at-home mom
- No free time to emotionally connect with family and friends
- No time for activities that you enjoy, especially ones that involve time spent with others
- Not following the societal norms surrounding parenthood
- Your partner not fully showing up as a co-parent with you
- Your partner not supporting your wants and needs
- A mental health issue like perinatal depression and/or anxiety
- Grief and loss issues and emotional disconnection from others
- Judgment and criticism from family and friends, specifically around your motherhood choices like working outside of the home versus being a stay-at-home mom, breastfeeding versus formula feeding, etc.
What else would you add to this list?
Self-care to help combat loneliness:
- Connect with loved ones near and far
- Join a group- in person or online
- Go to therapy
- Allow time and space to feel your feelings
- Do a mindfulness meditation
- Practice self-compassion and loving kindness towards yourself
- Read- something educational like a book about loneliness or fiction to take your mind off of how you’re feeling
- Exercise- do yoga, go for a walk outside, etc.
- Snuggle with your pet
What else helps you when you’re feeling lonely?
Loneliness is not an easy emotion for any of us to feel, and yet, also a very common part of life today. This is often especially true if you’ve recently experienced a life transition or major life change. Know that you’re not alone in how you’re currently feeling. I’m sending lots of love and compassion your way as you navigate the feelings of loneliness in your own life.