We overfill our lives, hoping more will make us feel like we are enough.
–Ellie Roscher
Motherhood busyness is not a badge of honor to be worn! You don’t win an award at the end for being the busiest mom on the block. And yet, how often do we hear about other people’s busyness and how special this makes them? How often do we talk about our own busyness as a way to make us feel important in the world? Let’s dive into this concept of motherhood busyness…
What deeper issues are often going on beneath motherhood busyness?
- Not feeling worthy or like you’re enough
- Feeling disconnected from others
- Relationship problems you aren’t ready to address yet
- Feelings you’re trying to numb like sadness, anxiety, anger, etc.
- Losses you’re not ready to grieve
- Needs that aren’t being fulfilled
- Wants that seem unattainable
- No work-life balance
- Not feeling close to your kids
- Not setting clear boundaries with others
Are there any deeper issues you would add here? So, we want to be looking at motherhood busyness as a possible symptom of something deeper that’s going on.
What can do you do break the cycle of motherhood busyness?
- Acknowledge that this is an issue
- Hone in on what’s going on underneath the busyness
- Create space to feel your feelings
- Talk about this cycle in therapy
- Add in more self-care
- Focus on being present in this moment
- Sit with the discomfort
- Process your emotions through writing in a journal
- Reconnect with family and friends
- Focus on what’s most important in life today
Anything you’d add here? So, breaking the cycle of motherhood busyness means going to those deeper places within you that you’ve been trying to avoid, and taking the time to work through them.
What are some positive outcomes you may see after breaking the motherhood busyness cycle?
- Feeling worthy and good about yourself from the inside out
- Feeling more emotional connection to family and friends
- Healthier relationships overall
- Being able to name and feel your feelings
- Grieving the losses in your life
- Getting your needs met
- Working towards your future goals and wants in life
- A better work-life balance
- Feeling closer to your kids
- Setting clear boundaries with others
Would you add anything here?
Motherhood busyness is a concept that may show up in our mom lives quite a lot. It may be something that you’re struggling with now, or that you’re seeing other mom’s in your life struggling with today. Know that it’s not an easy cycle to break. But, the hope is that with this new insight, you’ll start to see this pattern in your life moving forward. That way, when it does show up, you’ll start to intentionally make different choices to better take care of you and your family.
