Just be true to yourself. Listen to your heart. The rest will follow. Everyone has problems. You aren’t alone.
-Samantha Tonge
If you’re currently in the perinatal period, thinking of having kids, or are past this period all together, most women understand how and why stressors might be heightened during pregnancy and postpartum. However, sometimes these stressors take us by surprise, like when past issues such as grief and trauma show up again. This can also be really frustrating if we’ve taken time and money to work through our past issues with a therapist, and then have the same or similar issues resurfacing during pregnancy/postpartum. If this is true for you, know that you’re not alone, and this happens for many of us during this period in our lives.
Read of for some short, quick tips on: Issues that may resurface in pregnancy and postpartum, external stressors during pregnancy and postpartum, and ending with ways to help lower perinatal overwhelm in pregnancy and postpartum.
Let’s start with issues that may resurface in pregnancy and postpartum:
- Perfectionism- are you trying to navigate your pregnancy or postpartum perfectly? This is typically based in anxiety. Underneath anxiety we often find struggles with self-love, self-worth, self-value, etc. Does this resonate with you?
- Being too hard on yourself- Your inner critic can get very loud during pregnancy and postpartum. Try to be curious and more of an observer of this voice, without allowing your brain to make meaning out of these inner judgments. Ultimately, it’s helpful to work on cultivating a kind and compassionate inner voice to offset the critical one
- Not feeling good enough- This is so common for women in general, and can be exacerbated during pregnancy and postpartum. What would need to shift internally for you to know you own truth in that you are enough, right here and right now, no changes needed
- Grief and loss- This was a hard one for me when I was finally pregnant again with my “rainbow baby” after a late miscarriage. This can also show up after the loss of a family member or friend would won’t get to meet your baby and see them grow up, and your baby won’t get to have them in their lives either
What else would you add to this list?
External stressors during pregnancy and postpartum:
- Needing validation from others- instead of finding validation within yourself based in your own inner truth, morals and values
- Extended family issues- pressure on how to raise your child, other people wanting you to follow generational patterns, etc.
- Judgment/criticism from others- being told you’re not parenting your baby the right way, you’re not following all the current pregnancy rules according to family/friends/coworkers and not your doctor, etc.
- Social media/the comparison trap- we can so easily go down the rabbit hole of what other people are doing during the perinatal period, and then second guess ourselves and our choices and decisions. You know yourself and your body better than anyone. Don’t forget that!
What else would you add here?
Ways to help lower perinatal overwhelm in pregnancy and postpartum:
- Spend time with a loved one
- Meditate
- Journal
- Ask for help when you need it
- Process with a therapist
- Come up with a daily mantra
- Go outside and focus on your five senses/mindfulness
What other types of self-care would you add here?
If you’re currently struggling during pregnancy or postpartum, know that you’re not alone. Many of us struggle or are currently struggling during the perinatal period. If you need more help and support, please reach out to your OBGYN/Midwife or a therapist in your area. I’ve been there too, and I’m sending you lots of love and compassion as you navigate this hard time in your life.
