If you’re a mom, you’re a superhero. Period.
-Rosie Pope
We all go through may transitions throughout our lives, and the transition into motherhood and the postpartum period is no exception. This blog will dive into some common transitions during postpartum including maternity leave/the fourth trimester, returning to work/the fifth trimester and becoming a stay-at-home mom.
The Fourth Trimester/Maternity Leave
Maternity leave is sometimes referred to as the fourth trimester. This is a time of transition from work-life to home-life for about three months (give or take) while you get to know your new baby and your “new” life with your new baby. Some common struggles during this time period include:
- Learning to function on very little sleep
- Feeling like it’s “ground hog day” as one day to the next can look and feel very much the same
- Not feeling connected to your baby right from the start
- Not feeling as connected to your partner
- Feeling like it takes a lot more time and energy to get anything accomplished
- Feeling disconnected from friends, family and coworkers
- Feeling lonely, especially during those late at night feeding when it can feel like you’re the only one awake at that hour
- Feeling bored and restless
- Struggling with a PMAD (a Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorder) while also trying to take care of your baby
- Recovering from a traumatic birth
- Struggling with breastfeeding, pumping or formula feeding (if your baby is having issues with food allergies)
- Adjustments with other children and/or pets
What else would you add to this list?
The Fifth Trimester/Returning to Work
If you’re transitioning back to working outside of the home after your maternity leave (or the fourth trimester), these first three months back in the office are sometimes referred to as the fifth trimester. This time is also filled with many transitions such as:
- Having someone else caring for your baby
- Getting you (and often your baby) ready in the mornings
- Possibly not fitting back into your pre-baby professional wardrobe
- Commuting to and from work
- Finding time to pump at work if you’re breastfeeding
- Learning to function at work on very little sleep
- Missing your baby
- Not having time for all your pre-baby activities
- Creating a new division of labor at home with your partner
- Dealing with childcare issues
- Dealing with any workplace limitations now that you’re a mom (or have added children to your family)
What else would you add here?
Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom
Another big transition in postpartum is when women who have been working outside of the home decide to become stay-at-home-moms (and change is some sense to working full time within the home). These types of transitions can also be difficult for a myriad of reasons including:
- Your identity and how you see yourself may be tied to your role at the workplace
- Grief over things you will miss about your job
- Missing your coworkers
- Worry about how this change will impact you and your family
- Fear you may regret this change
- Feeling like there’s no division of labor as you’re “supposed” to do it all
- No time for self-care
- Feeling like your baby is attached to you at all times
- Financial worries and stressors without your second income
If you’re a stay-at-home mom, is there anything else you’d add to this list?
It can be a very hard decision to continue to work outside of the home or become a stay-at-home mom. You also may not actually have a choice here if you needed to return to work out of necessity but wanted to stay home, or if you needed to stay home to care for a sick baby with lots of appointments with specialists, when you wanted to return to work. Know that you’re not alone in your struggles. Talking to your trusted doctor or therapist can also be very helpful here. I’m sending lots of love and support your ways during these postpartum changes in your own life.
