My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style.
Think about times in your life when you were just getting through the day versus when there was a good flow to your day.
Here’s what survival mode may look like during postpartum:
- Going through the motions of your day/just getting through it.
- An emotional disconnection from others (which can include your partner and baby).
- A disconnection from your own inner feelings/inner world.
- Exhaustion/not sleeping well/not feeling well rested.
- A lack of interest in things you usually enjoy doing.
- A lack of direction in life/not setting and working towards future goals.
- Carrying guilt because you don’t have the energy to give more to your family, friends, job, yourself, etc.
- Feeling depleted (like you’re in a fog)/pessimism/negativity.
- Trouble concentrating and staying focused (foggy brain).
- Not feeling like yourself/feeling more irritable, agitated, angry, frustrated, etc. than normal.
Some of these areas may also be possible signs and symptoms of depression that may indicate a need to reach out to your doctor or a therapist in your state.
On the flipside, thriving in postpartum may look like:
- Feeling excited and energized throughout your day.
- An emotional connection with those around you.
- Feeling well rested, centered and grounded in the here-and-now.
- Your life has purpose, meaning and direction.
- Finding fulfillment in activities you enjoy taking part in.
- An emotional connection to your inner feelings/inner world.
- Having the energy to support yourself and others.
- Feeling positive and optimistic.
- Being able to concentrate and stay focused.
- Feeling thankful and grateful for the life you’re living.
Here’s a question to reflect on: If you’re currently living in survival mode, what needs to change so you can move into the thriving realm?
Some options could be:
- Bringing compassion and acceptance to yourself – that could look like: reminding yourself that you’re doing a good enough job and also acknowledging the areas where you’re doing a great job.
- Remembering that good enough is truly good enough!
- Recognizing that asking for help from others can be really hard to do.
- Asking yourself if perfectionism is getting in the way – maybe clothes don’t get folded or the floors don’t get cleaned as often as you’d like.
- Processing feelings around finances- maybe you want to be a stay-at-home mom or work only part-time, but may not have the means to make this a reality yet.
Also, we all tend to move in and out of surviving and thriving at different times in our lives. It can be helpful to notice this, and to figure out what tends to help you personally move from survival mode back to thriving in your life. Maybe it’s getting enough sleep or feeling connected to your partner or feeling fulfilled in your everyday life, or something else completely…