Motherhood itself is a kind of beautiful chaos. The life I knew before is gone, and in its place is wild love like I never imagined and ferocious worry like I’ve never known.
What is the mental load of motherhood?
- All the thoughts/items you’re carrying and processing in your mind, not just for you, but for your kids as well.
The mental load of motherhood can be so very draining and taxing for all of us at times, and this often first starts to show up for moms during postpartum, so be on the lookout for it.
Mom Guilt and Mom Shame
So, what’s the difference between mom guilt and mom shame?
- Mom guilt can sound like, “I feel badly about something I said or did.” Mom guilt is more behavioral or action based.
- Mom shame can sound like, “I am a bad mom.” Mom shame hits at a deeper level that can negatively impact your self-worth.
Although, we all feel guilt and shame at different times in our lives, postpartum is often when we first experience mom guilt and mom shame.
So, how can you alleviate some of the mental load of motherhood? Here are some ideas:
- Ask you partner for support
- Set clear boundaries with others
- Talk with you mom friends about it
- Have older kids help out
- Process how you’re feeling in therapy
- Acknowledge how much you’re carrying mentally
- Prioritize self-care like exercise, meditation, mindfulness, etc.
- Write it down/journal about it
- Have some fun!
What else would you add to this list that could help you work through any mom guilt and mom shame, along with the mental load of motherhood you’re carrying in your own life?