She knew this transition was not about becoming someone better but about finally allowing herself to become who she’d always been.
-Amy Rubin
You may not be feeling like yourself right now, especially if there are a lot of unmet needs in your life. These may include:
- A lack of sleep
- Not eating well
- Not staying hydrated
- Not moving around enough
- Needing some alone time
- Needing connection
- Needing more fun in your life
- Not scheduling time for self-care
- Needing quiet
- Needing a neat and clean environment
What are some of your unmet needs right now in pregnancy that you’d like to address?
It’s important to prioritize your own needs so you don’t forget about the amazing woman you were before getting pregnant, and the amazing woman you still are today.
Busyness
Busyness is not a badge of honor to be worn! You don’t win an award at the end for being the busiest woman on the block. And yet, how often do we hear about other people’s busyness and how special this makes them? How often do we talk about our own busyness as a way to make us feel important in the world? Let’s dive into this concept of busyness…
What deeper issues are often going on beneath busyness?
- Not feeling worthy or like you’re enough
- Feeling disconnected from others
- Relationship problems you aren’t ready to address yet
- Feelings you’re trying to numb like sadness, anxiety, anger, etc.
- Losses you’re not ready to grieve
- Needs that aren’t being fulfilled
- Wants that seem unattainable
- No work-life balance
- Not feeling close to your older kids and/or partner
- Not setting clear boundaries with others
So, we want to be looking at busyness in pregnancy (and beyond) as a possible symptom of something deeper that’s going on. Know that it’s not an easy cycle to break. But the hope is that with this new insight, you’ll start to see this pattern in your life moving forward. That way, when it does show up, you’ll start to intentionally make different choices to better take care of you and your family.
Perfectionism
As women, we can be so very hard on ourselves, especially in the pursuit of perfection. Perfectionism:
- Is often based in anxiety and fear
- Creates a burnout cycle because our lives will never be perfect enough
- Likes to be in control
- Is an image of how you wanted/expected your life to be
- Breaking this cycle often starts with taking a step back to figure out what truly matters in your life
It’s not an easy process to become a “recovering perfectionist,” but it’s important as a pregnancy woman, because perfectionism can rob you of the simple joys in life.
- Moving to a place of accepting what is can help you when imperfection shows up. (Remember, those clothes don’t need to be folded immediately, if at all!).
- Self-compassion can also be beneficial so you’re not as hard on yourself
As you move into postpartum, one of the most difficult parts of becoming a mom can be embracing the chaos of it all. However, when we embrace the messiness of motherhood, it allows us to be more present (not perfect) more present moms. We can embrace “good enough.” You get to see, hear and understand what’s really going on all around you:
- The joy
- The excitement
- The humor
- And yes, any hurt and pain too.
So, remember this mantra: Progress Over Perfection!
