Last week my husband and I had one of the strangest arguments of our 16-year marriage. It happened in our kitchen, and it was about Taco Bell, of all things!

Taco Bell, probably my least favorite fast food restaurant (sorry if you’re a T.B. lover!), and I felt this way before visiting one of the dirties Taco Bell’s on the planet on a road trip a couple of years ago, and committing to never eating Taco Bell again (which I haven’t!).

So, on a very busy day last month, my husband brings home Taco Bell for dinner for the family, and I am SO not happy about it! And honestly, I wouldn’t have been happy with Chipotle or Chick-fil-A or any local fast food place that I actually like, for that matter.

Why was I mad? Because what we were really arguing about was how busy the month of December had been for both of us, which equaled two busy parents, and no one with extra time to go food shopping.

There was NO food in the fridge (to the point where our kids were showing us Instagram videos with the same “no food in the fridge” theme, as we evidently weren’t the only family in this dire predicament- at least according to the kids!).

I wanted the long-term solution (going food shopping), while my husband was fine with the short-term solution (eating Taco Bell for dinner).

Can you relate to these types of arguments? The surface issue is often over something silly… like Taco Bell.

The solution to the problem is often about how you do life: I tend to look more long-term and my husband more short-term.

But, what’s the true argument really about? What’s going on at a deeper level between you and your partner? For us, it had been a crazy busy month, with almost no time to connect with each other, let alone talk logistics like what are we doing to have for dinner tonight, who’s going to go food shopping, etc.

It was a great reminder for both of us to slow down. To stop taking life so seriously. To have some fun. To spend quality time together. To focus on what’s most important in our lives.

Arguing is often a normal part of our relationships. Plus, if you and your spouse argue in a way that’s respectful, they can often be a growth place for each of you within your relationship as well.

If you have unresolved arguments with your spouse, individual or couples counseling can be a great place to process what’s really going on and learn ways to break the current relationship cycle you’re in with your partner. You’re worth it, your partner is worth it, and your relationship as a whole is worth it too!