Before defining what you want, know who you are.
-Diana Detinger

If you don’t follow your heart, you might spend the rest of your life wishing you had.
-Brigitte Nicole

I’m ending the year with some “deep thoughts,” I know! Although, having set goals and a life purpose can help you “stay the course” when things are hard, they can also help you focus your energy in the right places so you can move forward towards your hopes and dreams. Having direction in life can even help you move from simply having a job to having a career to finding a life calling. 

I remember when my kids were young and I was a stay-at-home mom, I would still tell people I was a therapist, as it was the way I continued to “do life.” I was lucky to have found my calling when I was young, and still felt the same pull towards returning to the therapy field, even in the years I chose to stay home and raise my kids. 

How would you describe your current life circumstances; do you currently have a job, a career or a calling in life?

If you are looking to find your calling in life, start with your own internal truths:

1. Focus on the things that bring you joy in life.
2. Look at the times to you feel centered, grounded and in the flow of life.
3. Remind yourself of the things you’re good at and that you enjoy.
4. Name some things that made you happy.
5. Define personal values and beliefs.
6. Where in life do you feel most positive and optimistic right now?
7. Describe what makes you unique.
8. Focus on what fills you with energy.
9. Think about where you can truly be yourself- where you feel, worthy, valued, loved, etc.
10. 10.Look at times when you feel connected to others.

Next, look at things that are currently holding you back from living the life you’ve always wanted:

1. Struggles with self-doubt.
2. Low self-esteem.
3. Not feeling like you’re worthy enough to do what you want to do.
4. Lack of support from others.
5. Negativity and pessimism from yourself and others.
6. Current struggles with anxiety, depression, grief and loss or another mental health issue.
7. A lack of connection to those around you.
8. Not having definitive values and belief systems.
9. Trying to “play it safe” and not disrupt the status quo.
10. 10.Perfectionism.

Therapy can be a great place to work through some of the items listed above.

What are some ways to get past these roadblocks? Let’s use perfectionism as an example. First, it takes a lot of time, effort and hard work to undo perfectionism. A simplified version of this process may look like: starting from perfectionism you work on moving into self-acceptance and from self-acceptance you move towards self-compassion and self-love. It’s not an easy process to become a “recovering perfectionist,” but for most people it’s freeing to have the pressure to be perfect taken off of you.

As we look toward wrapping up 2020 (and aren’t we all ready to have this year over and done with at this point?), and forward towards 2021, I wish you all a life filled with meaning, purpose and joy!

 

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