You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can
decide not to be reduced by them.
-Maya Angelou
I was recently talking to my daughter about the things that are inside and outside of our control in life. Our family recently moved, and although parts of this move went better than expected, there have definitely been things that haven’t been so great. Like our household goods taking much longer than expected to get to us. Hopefully next month, but in the meantime… no car, no kitchen stuff, no workout equipment… you get the idea. So, it’s been helpful to remember the places where we do and don’t have control throughout this major life change.
Let’s start with things that are generally outside of your control:
- Someone else’s attitude
- How someone feels about you
- How someone treats you
- The timing of many things in life
- The weather, natural disasters, etc.
- Your feelings, emotions, thoughts, etc.
- Getting older/time passing
- Getting sick or injured
- The past
- How the future unfolds
What else would you add to this list?
Things that are often within your control:
- Your attitude
- The effort you put into relationships, life goals, etc.
- How you treat others
- What you choose to let go of in life
- Allowing yourself time and space to feel your feelings
- How you show up in the world
- Prioritizing self-care
- What you eat and drink
- How often you exercise
- How you treat your body as a whole (mind, body, and spirit)
What else would you add here?
Finally, here are some self-care ideas to try when life feels out of control:
- Cry when you need a good cry
- Journal
- Talk to a therapist
- Grieve the losses in your life
- Meditate
- Go outside
- Exercise
- Eat a healthy diet for your body
- Read- get lost in a great book!
- Listen to your favorite music
What else helps you when life feels out of control?
If you’re currently going through, or have recently been through, a big change in your life, know that you’re not alone. During hard times, it can be helpful to figure out what is and isn’t with in your control. I’m sending lots of love and compassion your way as you navigate this new chapter in your life.