Love is a game that two can play and both can win.

–Eva Gabor

Do you have the type of relationship you’ve always dreamed of? One where you both have space to be your unique, authentic selves, while also being supportive partners to one another? One where you parent your kids together as a united front? For most of us, it isn’t one extreme or the other in these areas in our lives. We often fall somewhere in the middle. We all have our ups and downs in life, and our relationships do too.

So, how can we be our true selves, get our needs met within our relationship, and feel a strong connection to one another at the same time?

• Sometimes it’s best to start with self-reflection to help you figure out your own wants and needs within your relationship. What areas are going well? What areas need some work or feel like they are missing all together? Journaling might be a place for you to start this reflection process. Finding a great individual therapist who specializes in this area might be helpful to you as well.
• Maybe a date night out would be helpful to reconnect with your spouse, especially if you feel like you’ve been spending a lot of time cooped up at home together, or can’t remember the last time you had a date night.
• Maybe a date night in is actually what you’re craving. A night where you simply spend time together talking on the couch one-on-one after the kids are in bed.
• What about daily check-ins with each other? Do you stay connected throughout the day with texts, funny memes, etc.? Are you actively listening when your spouse tells you about their day?
• Do you just need some time and space away from the humdrum of everyday life? Is it possible to plan a quick get-away together? Some times doing something completely out of the ordinary together can help you reconnect with you spouse, and also remind you of why you chose this person as your life partner.
• Would marriage counseling be helpful to your relationship? Marital counseling may be a good way to work though some of your unhealthy relationship patterns so you can find healthier ways of interacting with one another. Plus, it’s hopefully a place where you can both feel safe being your true selves as well.

Some big and some small, but all ways to help you feel closer and more connected to your partner!