Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain—your life will never be the same.
Many women do not have an easy road to pregnancy. It can be helpful to acknowledge this fact and to normalize that for most of us we did not simply decide we were ready to have a baby and then get pregnant right away (although this does happen for the lucky few women among us!).
You may also be grieving parts of your road to pregnancy. Often our expectations and reality don’t match up, so our experiences can be very different from our hopes and dreams.
Here are some things you may be grieving from your own road to pregnancy:
- Not getting pregnant on the first try
- Waiting month after month after month for the positive pregnancy test
- Being referred to a specialist after not getting pregnant naturally in the “allotted” amount of time
- Scheduling sex around ovulation/no spontaneity
- Getting pregnant right away when you were thinking it would take a while
- Getting pregnant unexpectedly
- Trying to time getting pregnant on your work schedule, and not getting pregnant at the “right” time
- Wanting kids closer together
- Wanting kids farther apart
- Needing fertility treatments to get pregnant
- All the time and money spent on fertility treatments when others get pregnant naturally
- Previous chemical pregnancy, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage or pregnancy loss
- Infertility and secondary infertility
- Having to wait for your partner to be ready for a baby, even though you were ready for this next step in your relationship long before them
So, take some time and think about what you’re currently grieving from your own path to pregnancy experience.
You may also notice some deeper issues showing up during your pregnancy. These may include:
- Relationship issues
- Being too hard on yourself
- Grief and loss
- Lack of self-confidence
- Trauma from your past
- Not feeling worthy
- Not feeling good enough
Do any of these resonate with you now, or when you were pregnant in the past?
Finally, don’t forget to take good care of you during your pregnancy. Here are some calming self-care ideas that you may want to consider implementing in your life:
- Rest your body when your body needs rest
- Meditate (a quiet or guided meditation)
- Find a great mantra like “life is good” or “be here now”
- Focus on nutrition
- Do gentle stretches or prenatal yoga if approved by your doctor or midwife
- Hydrate (try to have water close by at all times)
- Emotionally connected with your partner and loved ones
- Process how you’re feeling in a journal
What self-care ideas would be most helpful to you today?