Living with fear stops us taking risks, and if you don’t go out on the branch, you’re never going to get the best fruit.
I recently had a fairly new client tell me that she googled what to talk about in therapy before we started our session together. We had a good laugh together about that. Thankfully, when she did her Google search, some reputable therapy websites came up like Psychology Today and Good Therapy with blogs on this topic. This normalized her question for her in that she saw that other people have the same question about therapy too. This helped me see that this topic is probably often on a client’s mind, especially if they’ve never been in therapy before. Plus, let’s be honest, there are often a lot of misconceptions that come up for people around therapy from TV shows, movies, social media, family, friends, etc.
Here are some of my thoughts about therapy, especially if you’re new to the therapy world:
- The foundation of therapy is having a trusting relationship with your therapist . A therapeutic relationship is one where you can be open and honest about your life, and be who you truly are in your counseling sessions. It’s a relationship where you don’t have to worry about saying the “right” thing or talking about the “right” topic. There really is no right or wrong here, just what you feel would be most beneficial to talk about in your life at that moment in time.
- If you and your therapist don’t connect from the beginning, it may be a sign that you might not be the right fit to work together. I personally offer a free 15-minute phone consultation to all potential new clients who reach out to me. Why? To find out more about what’s going on in their life and to answer any therapy related questions they have, but also to make sure that we connect with one another on the phone before getting started with our sessions together. It’s very hard to be open and honest with someone you don’t connect with from the start. I might be the perfect fit for one person but not for another.
- We talk a lot about feelings, emotions, relationships, connection, vulnerability, hopes and dreams, etc. in therapy. This conversation can really start anywhere and still be taken to the deeper level of feelings and emotions. Trust that the conversation will unfold (if you’re willing to let it) to a place of openness and vulnerability where you can be truly honest about your life, where you are and where you’d like to be.
- Together we will figure out how you can feel better emotionally from the inside out so that you can be the best mom, wife, friend, etc. to those around you. A place where you trust yourself and what you want and need in your life to make you feel worthy and whole.
- Even without a set agenda about what to talk about during your next therapy session, if you trust the process, you’ll get to a place of more clarity and insight. This is accomplished by what you choose to share in session versus what you choose to leave out.
- Trust that your therapist is a professional question asker and keeper of secrets. If you find the right therapy fit for you, that person can help you become more internally motivated to makes changes and shifts in your life that better take care of you.
You will get where you need to go, but first you’ve got to trust your therapist and the therapy process as a whole!