When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.
-Shannon L. Alder
My family recently moved, which has meant meeting lots of new people, being in lots of new places, and navigating lots of new experiences. It’s also brought on a myriad of feelings including joy and excitement around the newness of it all, as well as grief and sadness around the loss of my old, familiar life. One thing I’ve noticed is that it can be hard to be my true, authentic self within the context of all these new and different scenarios.
Let’s start with why we lose touch with our authentic selves:
- Our tendency to people please
- Following societal expectations
- To avoid judgment and criticism from others
- To fit in
- To meet parental or familial expectations/roles
- We’re outwardly focused
- We put other people first
- We minimize our own wants and needs
- Work place constraints
What else would you add here?
Why we grow apart from other people:
- Moving away/physical distance
- Different interests
- A change in values/life focus
- Too much criticism and judgment in the relationship
- You see the other person’s true colors
- You lose yourself in the relationship because their wants and needs come first
- They don’t have good have good intentions/your best interests at heart
- They are unable to celebrate your successes because of their own jealousy/envy
- A lack of trust in the relationship
- They don’t love and appreciate the authentic you
What did I forget here that you’d add to this list?
Self-care ideas to help you reconnect with your true self:
- Therapy
- Journaling
- Meditation
- Mindfulness
- Going outside and focusing on your five senses
- Exercise, especially yoga and stretching
- Eating a healthy diet for your body
- Tapping into your creative side
- Listening to a podcast or audio book that resonates with you in your current life circumstances
What did I forget here that helps you to reconnect with yourself?
Being authentically you in all of life’s situations is next to impossible for all of us, but we can all strive to be more authentic with the people in our lives who truly love and support us. I’m sending lots of love and compassion your way as you work to more fully embracing your true, authentic self.
