Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.
-Margaret Wheatley
Do you struggle to have hard conversations with others, especially loved ones? Do you tend to be more avoidant because you don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings? Do these behaviors lead to you losing yourself in relationships, and putting other people’s wants and needs above your own?
Relationships are definitely hard work! They also tend to come with emotional reactivity and heightened emotions when we’re feeling triggered and extra sensitive for a myriad of different reasons.
If this topic interests you (and I hope it does!), please read on for some quick, helpful tips on common symptoms of emotional reactivity, possible causes of emotional reactivity, and some self-care ideas to help lower emotional reactivity in your own life.
Let’s start with some common symptoms of emotional reactivity:
- Getting upset when someone sets boundaries with you
- Being quick to anger
- Feeling frustrated with others
- Feeling overwhelmed in your everyday life
- Feeling triggered by something someone said or did
- Shutting down because of the flood of emotions that are hitting you all at once
What else would you add here?
Here are some possible causes of emotional reactivity:
- Unresolved trauma
- Struggling with a medical issue
- Not prioritizing self-care
- Feeling lonely and emotionally disconnected from others
- Always giving to other people, often at your own expense
- Unprocessed grief and loss
- Expecting others to take care of you, and being disappointed when they don’t meet your expectations
What else would you add to this list?
Self-care ideas to help you lower emotional reactivity:
- Do some grounding exercises like focusing on your five senses or “being where your feel are”
- Go outside and take in the natural beauty all around you
- Talk to a therapist
- Take deep, cleansing breaths or listen to a guided meditation
- Take a break from what you’re doing, lay down, read a book, etc.
- Slowly count to ten
- Focus on meeting your basic needs such as getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods that nurture your body, staying hydrated, connecting with loved ones, moving your body through exercise or doing some light stretches, etc.
What are your favorite self-care ideas?
Emotional reactivity can be a really hard part of our relationships with other people. This may be your own emotional reactivity that you’re trying to work on, or trying to deal with the emotional reactivity of others. Know that you’re not alone in dealing with this common issue within your own relationships. Therapy can be a great place to work on emotional reactivity individually or as a couple or family. I’m sending lots of love and support your way as you navigate emotional reactivity in your own life.
