The world needs strong women. Women who will lift and build others, who will love and be loved, women who live bravely, both tender and fierce, women of indomitable will.
– Amy Tenney
Have you ever noticed that when things are good and going well in life, you tend to live in reality? But if things aren’t so good and aren’t going so well in life, you tend to live in hope (I sometimes even call this La La Land)? This can be a great coping strategy short-term, to get you through “survival mode” and back into thriving in life. But sometimes living only in hope can become a way of life, something we embody, and something that can keep us from making big changes in life, the changes that will often take better care of you in the long run…
What living only in hope may look like:
- Being future-focused
- Wearing rose colored glasses
- Toxic positivity
- Silver-lining life
- Talking about safe topics
- Surfacy conversations that lack depth
- Wanting others to change
- Not looking inward
- Trying to fit people into certain roles/Conditional love
- A coping strategy to get through “survival mode”
What else would you add here?
What living in reality may look like:
- Being present-focused
- Clearly seeing what’s right in front of you
- Feeling your feelings and allowing yourself to grieve the losses in your life
- Being centered and grounded
- Deep conversations with others
- Exploring difficult topics
- Working on yourself
- Healing from the inside out
- Loving people for who they are, not who you want them to be/unconditional love
- Thriving and having a good flow to your day
What else would you add to this list?
Self-care for when you’re in “survival mode”
- Talk to a therapist about how you’re really doing day in and day out
- Connect with a trusted friend or family member
- Join a support group
- Call a support hotline (Crisis hotline: 988)
- Exercise- walk, stretch, do yoga, tense and release your muscle, just move your body!
- Go outside and take in the beauty all around you
- Spend time with your pets
- Snuggle under a blanket
- Drink a warm drink
- Rest when you need to rest
What else helps you when you’re in “survival mode?”
Living a future-focused life to get you through a crisis or change can be a great short-term coping strategy. But, staying in this mode indefinitely can rob you of the joys that are right in front of you. I’m sending lots of love and support your way as you navigate moving from “survival mode” back to thriving in life once again.
